Bop Lic Blog

Whether you believe in a higher power, cosmic randomness, or something in between, there’s a collective understanding that we did not choose our bodies under our own volition. None of us chose our race, culture, or birthplace. Despite this, people often derive their sense of community and identity from these (dare I say) superficial, chance variables. Belonging in “assigned” communities, such as culture, can be comforting, but that comfort can come at the expense of self-actualization. It’s still valuable to find community in what we were given, but it is even richer to find community in what we create.

Coming from a rich multicultural background, I understand the significance of cultural belonging and do not mean to minimize it. It feels good to be surrounded by those who eat the same foods, speak the same languages, and have similar physical characteristics. It’s the easiest path to identity and community, but it often comes at the expense of agency and individuality.

Collective cultural identity often arises from people searching for connection through what is most accessible: the visible. At a young age, this makes sense, but as we age, we drastically expand our capacity and desire for meaning. We are capable of creating meaning far beyond that of flesh and blood. We can form deeper community built on shared passions and values.

There are two main problems with over-reliance on inherited identity for belonging: First, it limits our growth as individuals. If we surround ourselves only with people who look or sound like us, we risk falling victim to groupthink. Carrying others’ beliefs as your own is like hosting a parasite that slowly erodes your spirit until all that remains is a walking husk of a human. The second problem is that it reinforces division. When comfort depends on physical similarity, it is only natural for discomfort to arise around those who differ. Systems of control have derived their power from the simple strategy of divide and conquer for ages.

I find it fascinating that forced segregation and identity-based collectivism can function as two sides of the same coin. Both lead people to seek belonging among those who share race. The difference lies only in the motivator. Segregation is fear-based, whereas identity-based collectivism sustains division through promoting comfort.

Consider how a school counselor might tell a freshman in college to join a cultural club when they struggle to fit in. Although there is good intent behind this advice, it can be confining to their development. It’s similar to treating symptoms versus treating the root of the problem, but it is something we like to do in America: “Oh, you’re having trouble assimilating into a system that’s fueled by slowly grinding your soul into dust? Why don’t you go stand in a room of full people whose shit smells the same as yours for once a week. How does that sound? ” Ha. I embellish, but the point stands.

I say none of this to say cultural pride or belonging is wrong. There is beauty in shared heritage, but I must ask: Are we finding true community, or simply the easiest one to access?

I believe true community is founded upon shared curiosity, love, and perspectives; Spaces we enter by choice. There’s power in people who differ uniting on common ground. That kind of community is built, and I think that’s beautiful.