Bop Lic Blog

So many rules and labels exist to ease our minds. We build and believe in systems and categories to comfort us amidst the uncertainty in this world. Yet when you look just past the surface, we find that so many of them are arbitrary, even borderline nonsensical.

We search for answers in life. The fewer we have, the more we search. The more we search, the more we are cursed attempting to find answers in an individualized experience that is inherently subjective. There are always multiple truths, but that creates dissonance… So we construct meaning, even if it is artificial. Rules and labels are often built from our innate need to have answers. We grasp at any sliver of agency in a world where our will is subject to powers far greater than ours.

Let us consider the example of age. The day before someone’s 18th birthday, they are a minor. The next day, they are an adult. Engaging in sexual relations with them a day before is a crime, yet it is legal the next day. This rule gives us a sense of simplicity in such a complex and layered world. The same goes for liquor laws. At 20, drinking liquor is a crime, but it is celebrated at 21. Other countries set the age at 16. Each country finds logic in their respective rules. Not because of any innate truth or science behind these laws, but because they provide structure.

The concept of mental illness can be arbitrary, as we diagnose people with different disorders because of their resistance to live within the confines of walls that do not serve them. Heck, we even invented arbitrary trackers and definitions of time to protect us from the impossibility of rationalizing such an absurd concept.

These rules and constructs are not rooted in universal truth, but are rather man-made comforts. These comforts give us stability, for better or for worse.

We build walls for us to live within, and in these walls, we find comfort. The less walls we have, the more open space there is. The more space we have, the more uncertainty there is to face.

Paradox: space brings freedom, but freedom brings uncertainty. Uncertainty creates anxiety. Not pathological anxiety, but ontological anxiety. Ontological anxiety is the cause of many of the problems we face, whether we are aware of it or not.

Catch-22: We can either create walls to form our paths, but know the walls are rooted in fiction, or live without walls, but face the vast uncertainty of existence. Of course, a medium is needed between these ends to be healthy, but what does that balance look like?

Of course a counterargument is we need rules and walls to run such a large country. This is true in a practical sense, as any society needs structure to function. But just because a rule is functional does not mean there is innate truth to it. For example, the legal consent and drinking ages maintain order, but they do not reflect a truth about maturity. The laws are convenient, nothing more.

It becomes a problem when these arbitrary rules become so embedded within our own morality that we start to feel as though there must be some level of moral or philosophical truth within them. Over time, we stop questioning them to ease our cognitive dissonance, and we find ourselves stuck within the confines of these walls.

Even if one believes that order, regardless of the truth behind it, is a benefit to humanity, one must question who benefits from this order? Does this order exist for our well-being, or for the preservation of the systems themselves?

Existential psychologist Irvin Yalom spoke of four ultimate concerns we face in life: death, meaninglessness, isolation, and freedom. We respond to these anxieties, each in their own way. For death, we created the concept of legacy and engage in different cultural rituals to extend life beyond death. For meaninglessness, we follow philosophy, religion, and set goals. For isolation, we join communities and movements larger than ourselves. These responses are healthy, as they bring us purpose. However, our response to freedom is different, and potentially problematic.

As Jean-Paul Sartre said, “Man is condemned to be free.” Freedom is the source of both our suffering and our potential. A healthy response to freedom is embracing it as an opportunity to create authentic meaning for ourselves. Instead, we are programmed to reduce it by the institution of walls of rules and labels that make the gift of freedom feel more manageable. We lose individuality and become a product of the system as opposed to a product of self-actualization and reflection. Individuality is born in exploring the spaces between the walls, and the space after knocking them down.

To begin knocking some of these walls down, I ask: Is our logic really logical? What is the rationale behind the basic truths we believe to be true? Is there rationale?

Many rules exist to punish malevolent behavior, but we must ask why that behavior exists in the first place. If people were living in accordance with truth, the individual truth resonating within us, then perhaps there would be less need for so many rules. A world with fewer rules sounds unrealistic, but that is because we are conditioned to see order as the only path to peace.

There are walls we create for ourselves, there are walls that are systematically programed within us, and there are walls that are reactions to the world around us. Some are imposed on us, and some we impose upon ourselves. Some walls provide us with necessary structure. Some of us function better with more walls. Whatever works, works. What works for one won’t work for another. Celebrate this reality. Let your layers and textures show. Let others’ layers and textures show. Let them all coalesce to create this rich and vibrant place we all call home.

Reflect. Remain critical, not just of the world around you, but of yourself… Especially of yourself.

Which walls in your life benefit you? Which walls harm you? Who built the walls? You? Your family? The systems of control? Can you break any walls down? Are there walls you need to build?

The best way to change the world is to change yourself.